SOCIAL MEDIA IS SOMETHING RELATIVELY NEW to me and I am in the process of embracing it as a necessary evil. Reminiscing wistfully on the days when all phones were black and you could make prank calls to your heart’s desire, I am painfully aware that as an entrepreneur it is quite impossible to survive without Twitter, Facebook and everything else that is instant.
My mind is willing but still boggled as I wrap my head around just keeping up with Twitter. I daren’t even visit the bathroom without my iPhone lest something happen without me. And don’t get me started on Facebook…
“I don’t have to follow every one that follows me, right?” I ask Blue Eyes on one of my trips to the loo, iPhone clutched in hand and eyes intently glued to its screen to see my latest Twitter followers.
“Huh? You mean Louis?” He replies, turning off his electric shaver for a moment and motioning to my feet. Louis the Lover, my formerly feral kitty is right behind me. He follows me everywhere because he owns me and… I know where the food is.
Miss Kitty, my Siamese cat is more of a princess and pleasures herself by using me as human furniture. She refuses to eat at the same time as Louis much less allow him anywhere in her vicinity. In fact, she won’t even eat the same food he eats because, well… he’s a commoner. She’ll meow plaintively until she gets exactly what she wants. People food.With concern, Blue eyes continues “I noticed Miss Kitty’s Yelp review of the poor service offered at our dining facility. It went something like this”:
“The service is well below par here. I had to wait for the hairy brute noisily gobbling his meal across from me to finish smacking his lips before I could even make myself heard by the waitress. I must say, she could dress a little better, sweat pants and no makeup? Honestly.
I ordered salmon lightly poached in sauvignon blanc with a touch of dill and instead was served this, this brown… dreck reeking of gizzards. Yuch. After forcing it down out of necessity I reconsidered and regurgitated the unsavory swill on a nearby pristine cream ultrasuede chaise lounge. Just the thought of it now makes me gag.
While the service finally came through I would not recommend to my friends unless they like to sing for their supper. Last time I gave this sorry excuse for a restaurant a chance I had to starve myself for two days to get some measly low-sodium sliced turkey breast. An improvement over the usual indigestible dreck but still…”
By now my eyes are watering from laughing at how ridiculous this whole scenario is. Sometimes I get so wrapped up in staying current with Social Media I don’t even see what’s happening right around me. What ever happened to being present in the moment… or is Social Media the new moment?
This epiphany is fleeting. My mind quickly starts to boggle again when I realize my phone is still attached to my hand so Miss Kitty can’t get at it.
Who knows what embarrassment she’ll cause me on Facebook. Oh, maybe I should get my friends to review my business as a beauty consultant on Yelp.
Or maybe, just maybe, I could hire someone else to handle the Social Media part so I can actually get some work done…
Should I Tweet that?
Photo Credits: Social Media Monopoly - www.clickonf5.org