“I’LL TAKE the works!” I eagerly proclaim to the receptionist at the Korean Health Spa. My girlfriend, Marley has invited me along for a treatment and I’m really looking forward to a nice, relaxing massage. Maybe catch a little steam room or sauna time as well, yes-sir-ee.
“You’ll love this spa, Esmée, they do a great job here” confirms Marley with a knowing smile. The receptionist hands us three little hand towels each plus a thin bathrobe and we are off to park our gear in the change room.
The spa theme is definitely Asian, low little stools lined up along the wall each facing its own accompanying faucet and hand held shower. not a Western face in sight.
Bathing is so different in the East, it is more of a social event. The Korean gals chat it up as they scrub each other’s backs, gossip abounds as I enter the crowded sauna. Not a word of Engrrish meets my ears. Who knows what they are saying about me.
It’s really quite refreshing to see no one here is burdened with modesty, I reflect to myself as I slip into the big bubbling whirlpool. Kind of reminds
me of my European upbringing. Not that my family are nudists or anything but, well, seeing my parents strut around naked was not out of the ordinary for me. I could get used to this prrace.
Modesty thresholds are so different here in North America,you see. I’m always surprised at the horrified ‘NO, Eeuw, Never!’ I get when I ask my (adult) North American friends if they’ve ever seen their parents naked. It always just seemed so natural to me, still does.
Feeling very at home now I notice a Korean gal is beckoning me to the back room. As I extract myself from the ice water spa I’ve been cooling off in and make my way to the back room, my attention is drawn to her ensemble.
This middle aged lady, my massage therapist, is clad in a pretty black lacy bra and panty set.
Oh my…what have I gotten myself into?
Yu-Ri, my tiny lingeried lady speaks about as much English as I do Korean, so I follow her motioning hands into the dimly lit room room behind the half-drawn plastic shower curtains.
In the steaminess I can make out about five vinyl-padded tables, three of which are occupied. One of them bears Marley, partially draped with one of those little hand towels. Her massage lady is also wearing the perfunctory lacy black spa uniform.
I follow orders and lay down, sunny side up on the damp, slippery table. Spread eagle. Suddenly feeling very naked, I make like an ostrich and tightly close my eyes, hoping that since I can’t see, no one is peeking at my very exposed wazoo.
Yu-Ri starts with a body scrub like I’ve never experienced before. It feels like an eternity of extreme exfoliation as she washes me down and scrapes off the outer layer of skin with what feels like a pair of steel wool gloves. She’s really pouring on the elbow grease.
Surely I must be bleeding by now, I suggest to myself and escape into a deep meditative state.
My body follows more orders as Yu-Ri rolls me onto my side and taps my leg for me to lift it up so she can scrape my inner thighs clean. Oooooohmmm…
The only patch of skin mercifully left untouched is my wazoo.
The ensuing pressure point massage, hose down and hot towels bring me back to life and I emerge feeling cleaner than I ever have in my entire life. Oh, and a little more humble as well.
Little Korean spa ladies in black lingerie rule.
I know I’ll be back soon, only next time I’ll skip the bathrobe. Wax job, anyone?
P.S. Stay tuned for Episode 3 of Safe Sex for Boomer Chicks with Dr Wilf Steinberg. Coming up very soon!!!